Skin on Skin

According to (producer, Fashion Designer, Model,  Style Expert, Inner Beauty Empowerment Coach, Author & Speaker) Lorelei Shellist, “Skin on Skin” is an upcoming film that she’s producing about “the dreams that lie just beneath the skin.” She goes on to explain that the film is about courage and perseverance, empowering you to pursue your dreams.

What she doesn’t explain is exactly how the film will make that happen.

All this film appears to be is yet another self-aggrandizing project telling the barely fictionalized story of a runaway who travels the world, becoming a “muse” to iconic Haute Couture designers in Paris. It remains to be seen how much of the project is fact, fiction, or a deluded combination of the two.

Yet again, she’s using Def Leppard to raise money and promote herself. “Skin on Skin” is a lyric from Def Leppard’s Women, circa the Hysteria album.

Only this time, she’s not directly peddling a product for your money, the way she did with her Mary Sue autobiography.* This time, she’s asking for money outright via a gofundme project called “Dreams with Wings.” And what do you get for your donation? It’s vaguely worded, at best. But that’s no surprise, considering the quality of writing she demonstrated in her book.

At first, it looks like the reward levels are items that you buy, like a ruby slipper or crystal tiara, because the list starts off with a health and beauty basket item for $495.00 (yes, you read that right. Four hundred and ninety-five US dollars) that you could pick up from Walmart for 8 bucks. That’s an item that you can buy. And then there’s a $35.00 powder brush for sale. And THEN the levels start.

She didn’t bother to put the levels in ascending or descending financial order. It looks like she just slapped new levels in as she thought of them. I briefly considered sorting them out and listing them in order so that I could show you the “perks” but decided not to. Why would I want to do her work for her? Screw that. She says she has a “dream team” of “angels” that work for her. Let one of them tell her that her gofundme page is rambling and ambiguous.

Suffice it to say, there is a very long list of perks and prizes, but upon closer inspection, none of them seem to hold any real monetary value. There’s a lot of fluff and babble about intangibles like getting your name in the credits and getting shout-outs on social media, but nothing that really seems worth the price.

For $5000.00 US dollars (yes, that’s five THOUSAND dollars), there’s a role in the movie itself, and an ‘invitation’ to the premier, a red carpet photo op, and 1 night in a hotel. The only thing of any real value in there is the room. So, make no mistake. You’re basically paying 5 grand for one night in a hotel room. I hope it’s at least five stars. Add another 5 grand and you get 2 nights and a chance to sit with her at supper. Add yet another 5k (for a total of 15 THOUSAND dollars), and you get those 2 nights, dinner with her (paid? Doesn’t say) and orchestra seating at the premier.

Aside from that, though, it doesn’t look like anything else is included in the price. There are ‘invitations,’ but no mention at all that anything but the room itself is included. So. It looks like you not only pay $5k, $10k or $15k for the prize, but also that you have to pay for your travel, meals, gratuities and everything else as well. For both the trips to appear in the film and to travel to the premier. Whatta deal.

In one other prize package that involves her appearing at a fashion party (that you can only have if you live in Nashville, for some reason?), you have to pay an ADDITIONAL $500.00 dollars for a personal 3 hour Magic Makeover Session with her. Let me repeat that. You have to pay not only $1600.00 US dollars for the prize itself, but an additional 5 hundred to hang with her for 3 hours. That’s a total of $2,100.00 dollars.

In another package, you get to pay $1250.00 US dollars to have Lorelei come to your house for a party. If you live in Santa Barbara.

In yet another, you pay $1150.00 US dollars for her to come to your Los Angeles home.

Or, for a mere $1000.00 US buckaroos, you get to hang with Lorelei for 6 hours, listening to her smarmy banter about finding the fashion icon in you. In Los Angeles. Or, if you add another $250.00 bucks to pay for her to travel, she’ll hang with you in Palm Springs, San Diego, or Santa Barbara. At some point during that 6 hours, the two of you are probably going to get something to eat. And who do you think is (probably) expected to pick up that tab? You’re paying for everything else, so you tell me.

For anything under $1,000.00 US dollars she pimps you out to somebody else to meet, or you get a scarf, or something. I guess you’re not worth the bother of her time for less than a grand.

Well, no. I guess that’s not entirely true. For a mere $399.00 US dollars, she’ll Skype with you.

Do you know what this reminds me of? The crowd funding project that Nick Pacione and Tabetha Jones started to fund their Sinister Souls anthology. The one where perks included hanging out with them in their home cities, as if either one of them was important or interesting enough for anyone to want to meet them. You know. The project that didn’t raise one single dime. This sounds like that. “Pay through the nose, and you get to hang out with my wonderful, glorious self!” I’ll pass, thanks.

But she has something that those two didn’t, don’t and never will. A brush with fame. She dated Def Leppard’s guitarist Steve Clark. He dumped her and was getting married to another woman when he died. But never mind that. With him gone, the ex can glorify herself as his “one true star-crossed love” all she wants and he’s not around to defend himself. Neither is his wife. She joined him in death a few years later.

And there are countless scores of his fans that will swallow it whole because of their affection for him. They’ll fawn at her feet and kiss away the tears she sheds at the memory of his loss, empathizing with her pain because they associate it with the pain they feel at losing him.

And they’ll pay. They paid for her horrible book in droves. They pay for “sessions” with her in which she “empowers” them by telling them how wonderful they are – something they could easily discover on their own for free. Or they could pay to go see a shrink. At least the shrink makes no pretense about being altruistic. And the shrink will have 1) been trained with standards of ethics, and 2) studied for a PhD in actual psychology. Not some pseudo-new-age non-doctorate degree in spiritual psychology. Just saying.

And Def Leppard fans are paying for Lorelei’s film. Their names appear in the roster of her contributors, one after the next, paying hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars to blow sunshine up her skirt.

It’s their own business what they do with their money. If it makes them feel good to give their hard-earned dollars to finance her dream world of jet-setting trips to Paris, more power to them. Me, the thought turns my stomach. If I’ve got a few hundred (or thousand) dollars, I’d much rather give it to a foundation that does something REAL for people. Like, oh, say, saving lives by curing cancer. Yes, that’s a real thing, and I’ll be writing about that soon. Or I’d pay Wounded Warriors. Or donate to the homeless. Hell, I’d take in another ten stray cats before I’d give a nickel to her.

Well, I’ll probably do that anyway. So… bad analogy.

The point is that seeing someone take advantage of Def Leppard’s hard-won fame makes me queasy. And, no. She’s not the only one that does it. But she’s the one I find the most distasteful, because she does it at the expense of a dead guy that isn’t around to defend himself, who didn’t want anything to do with her, to the point of swearing out restraining orders to keep her from contacting him. Honestly, it confuses the hell out of me that fans who claim to care for him continue to worship at the feet of a woman that he didn’t want in his life. To me, that shows the utmost insult to his memory.  Seems to me that if they really cared about him, they’d honor his wishes. But, hey. That’s just me.

If ever I have a Def Leppard-inspired project by which I hope to make a few bucks, I’d at least have the common decency to run it past the band first, give them the chance to give it a green light or to tell me no. Even to give them the chance to benefit from it financially, too, as well they should, since it’s their name and fame that’s associated with it. There is the small possibility that she got the go-ahead from the band to wantonly associate herself with them for her own financial gain (again), but I doubt it. They don’t own the words “Skin on skin.” They just made them famous.

No. I doubt that she asked for permission. More likely, she just went ahead and did it, knowing that, even if they didn’t like it, they probably wouldn’t say anything. That thought alone would be enough to stop me. But, again, that’s just me.

Let me set the record straight about something. I don’t dislike this woman. I don’t know her well enough to truly dislike her. But I do know her well enough to see cracks in the facade. She showed them to me herself when she rattled off a laundry list of good deeds and dared me to beat it by confronting me with “And what have YOU done?” Those aren’t the words of an altruistic angel. That’s the sort of thing someone would say if they cared more about how those “good deeds” made them look than the charities themselves.

And it’s pretty glaringly obvious that she’s still leeching off of Def Leppard’s spotlight.

In all honesty, I think that if she really did what she says she does, she might really do some impressive work. Instead of glorifying herself with her good deeds, if she actually did it for the sole benefit of the people she helped, I’d be the first one to stand up and applaud. Especially if, just for once, she could do it without the expense of her dead ex boyfriend and his buddies. That would be great.

I don’t see that happening anytime soon, however. Instead, all I see are continuing bids for money and attention riding on the coattails of others. Pity. There are young girls in the modeling world that really could benefit from the experience of someone who’s actually been there, if only she could be bothered to step off of those coattails and truly walk an altruistic path.

By all means, feel free to look that gofundme page over and see if it makes more sense to you than it does to me. It’s possible that I just don’t understand crowd funding projects well enough. Or maybe there’s something I’m just not seeing. If it seems like a good deal, or if I’m mistaken altogether, please let me know. Because, honestly, I just don’t see it.

*In literature (though in the case of Shellist’s book, I’m not convinced that the word ‘literature’ applies), a Mary Sue is a character, often created as a personification of the author herself, who is impossibly perfect. Irritatingly so. For a more in-depth explanation about what constitutes a Mary Sue, see this post.


10 thoughts on “Skin on Skin

  1. Oh, and look. As of an hour ago, she’s looking for “full figure beauties” to “contribute” (pay thousands of dollars) to (be in) the film, so she’s inviting bigger girls to check out the Ruby Slippers level of rewards, which would let a big girl be in the film too. Tabetha should look into it. Then she really could be this internationally famous supermodel she only WISHES she were by appearing in Lorelei’s Mary Sue ego-stroke film. Too bad it costs so much. I just don’t see Tab coming up with 3 grand for the package plus travel expenses, accommodations if her shoot takes more than one day, food, transportation, gratuities and everything else. She just doesn’t rip off enough authors to be able to afford a shot like that.

    It’s just as well, I suppose. I don’t think both of their egos could fit in the same room. Even if they were standing in the Parthenon.

    I dunno what’s up with that nice lady signing every word. I guess Lo’s looking for plus size girls that are deaf…?

  2. I see you have a pattern you follow it’s models and writers you like to cyber bully. Here’s another beautiful model and writer that your bulling just like Ms Jones your so jealous of beautiful talented models and authors that live amazing lifes that you only dream of because your nothing but a bony dried up old cunt that will never be a beautiful latented successful model like these two women. Your nothing but a jealous bitter little cunt with no life so you bully others that do well I hope she sues your ads off like Ms Jones is about to I hope you have a good lawyer you jelous hateful bitch.

    • I scarcely know where to start.

      First off, the only “pattern” I follow is speaking my mind. Secondly, Tabetha has absolutely nothing in common with Lorelei. The former rolls around on her couch naked, posts pictures in vanity magazines and calls herself a model. You can put a tutu on a hippo, but that doesn’t make it a ballet dancer. Never will. Lorelei really was a model. It triggers my gag reflex whenever she calls herself a “muse” of the great designers of the day. She was a walking clothes horse, just like the rest of them. But she really did walk those runways. She really did work for those fashion houses. She really was a model. Tab isn’t, and never will be.

      As for being writers, I might have misspoken myself. Both of them technically have self-published books. Tab publishes through her various masturbatory companies that she owns herself. And Lorelei – well, I guess it’s the same thing. She owns Siren Star publishing, the company that published her book. But, unlike Tabetha’s, it’s a real company. She owns it, so it’s still self-publishing, but at least it’s legally formed and legitimate.

      There’s nothing wrong with self-publishing. Nothing at all. As long as the company is actually a company, and the owner makes no pretense about what’s going on. So, again, nothing similar between Tabetha and Lorelei. Not on the surface, anyway. Deep inside, I get the feeling that both of them come from a very similar place. But it’s my week off as a mind reader, so I’ll have to just deal with what we can see.

      Tab’s been promising to sue me for years. It hasn’t happened yet, and I suspect pigs would sooner fly. So, whoever you are (snark), please, keep dreaming.

    • And yet again here comes Tabetha, using an alt because 1 she has no freaking balls, 2 always insinuating herself into situations she wishes she could be a part of. But like everything else about Tabetha she is and forever will be a wannabe, hang around, clueless twit.

      Dear Tabetha if you insist on pretending that you have so many people willing to defend your sorry “ads” be smart. SPELL CHECK BITCH

      • Even though, yet again, the ip hails from Texas, there’s no proof that it’s Tabetha. Sure sounds like her, though, doesn’t it?
        The more I see those two side by side, the more they seem to have in common. Not on the outside, of course. But both come across to me as selfish, without empathy for whoever they have to use for money and attention. Both promising to help make other people’s dreams come true, when the only real concern is for self. And, most importantly, I think they both honestly believe their own hype. But the bottom line for both is money and ego. That’s what it looks like to me, anyway. One’s just got a MUCH better act.

  3. I truly don’t understand people who do this sort of bullshit. For me, the death of Bowie has been a knife to my soul, and yet his former bodyguard, a man who said he “curled into a ball on the floor and cried” over Bowie’s death, managed to get over his grief in time to sell a story to tabloids about an incident in the 70’s that EVERY FAN ALREADY KNEW. These kinds of people need to be bitch slapped into unconsciousness.

    • It truly and sincerely turns my stomach, making money off a dead guy like that. And, worse, someone they claim to care about. If they really cared, they’d leave ’em alone.

  4. Pingback: It’s getting deep | Lepplady

    Whoa!!!! Sure hope this is legal, she has tax papers in order, etc. for her umm, business here, film and public funding and people got what they donated for like her package deals there.
    Someone gave 500 dollars. maybe it was someone who knew her. Dr. and Mrs. Somebody-500 dollars. AGAIN-LS, very pretty, looks great and natural at 58, was a high end real fashion model on real runways by major fashion houses. She is smart , talented. She wheeled her 1980’s love, Deceased SClark, into a profits today. Her book, fairness, is not all about him. A few chapters are about him. She took her life from a dysfunctional family and really puled herself up and out and took care of herself. To bad Steve did not get healthy, dump DeceasedJanie (troubled) Dean, and go back a healthy , whole man to LS. They would have been a good power couple. LS is friends with Phil and is tolerated by the band still of not friends wth them I think we can say, is ok with them, because if not, no way in hell does JoeElliot allow things and people he does not want around, LOL. Who runs DL? Joe!!! Who always ran DL? JoeE!!
    Still, LS needs to lay off the Steve tributes. Ehhhh, too much. Why did she not marry after 1991? SC did and she was still very young, pretty, connected. Loving a dead man who she broke up with is creepy. Too much Steve .

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